FASHIONISTANOT

So I contradict myself from my "finding what's good in other people stance". I mean seriously, how can you not at the very least, raise an eyebrow when you see fashion criminals EVERYWHERE, and I don't mean fashion victims. Fashion victims are slaves to labels and pile on the "of the moment" clothes without leaving room for individuality. Fashion crimes are committed by those clueless among us who are either in a fashion time warp or are simply style-as-dry-as-the-sahara or worse, WORSE!!! believe that they are stylish and even dole out advice...and who are they?

• Ladies, there is underwear for any piece of clothing. VPL's (visible panty lines to the uninitiated) are simply unacceptable!! If you can't wear a thong, buy boy shorts!
• The stirrup leggings with the flats? or with mules? Please, someone explain this to me!
• Ultra coordinated = pink bag + pink shoes + pink belt + pink jewelry does not equate to chicness. Give it a rest, puhleez!
• Shoulder pads. Enough said. Wait, shoulder pads on a t-shirt. Case closed.
• Brown shoes with a dark suit. Only if you're Italian. A good-looking Italian.
• White socks black shoes. The last person who wore this trend almost landed in jail.
• 2, 3 earrings in your earlobe ...shows that when that trend hit you were in your 20's and it was cool...so if you're a 30+ woman - NOT COOL.
• A belt with suspenders - why???
• White pumps, round toe, not stilletos. I mean seriously.
• Mismatched jewelry. Gold with gold and amber tones, white with silver, and if you can afford it, platinum. The only time things MUST match.
• Stockings with open toe sandals. Which led to some genious to make...ta dah! stockings without toes so that you can wear them with sandals (I think this lady was in last season's The Apprentice or was it Richard Branson's show?). Why tell me, why? You wear sandals during summer, so shouldn't the legs go bare as well? Ok, not everyone has nice legs...well then wear a longer skirt or pants for crying out loud!

The list goes on and I don't know even know where to stop! Sigh...not even a year's subscription to ELLE can save these people.

there's always something

We go through our lives wishing we were something we're not. Heck, we wish could all be supermodels, movie stars or rock stars - but, let's face it, most of us got the short end of the genetic code. So you try to resign yourself to be happy with your looks, but there's always something...longer hair, whiter teeth, all those attributes that you figure, if only I had them, man I WOULD RULE!! So instead of admiring people for their good looks, we look at what's wrong (Angelina Jolie passes by and you go, "she probably has 6 toes") - to sort of even out the field.

But, I don't like dwelling on these thoughts, I don't like to sound bitter. So here's my version of people watching, a simple exercise that gets me through the day. I take the everyday person, someone you wouldn't look at twice and pick out ONE trait that I would love to have. Seems easy, but my mind game requires that the trait is physical, so if they're cracking a joke or reading a book on quantum physics, you can't wish for their seemingly inherent wit or intelligence.

Once you get the hang of it, it's really easy. "Hmmm, nice hair", "Nice butt", "Nice feet" ...the list goes on. Then you realize that the most plain-looking person actually has this one thing going for him/her, and then, they're not so plain anymore. I know, it may sound smug, but if you try it, it's really a great and cheap way to kill time.